Mistakes versus Opportunities

Many sports psychology gurus argue that players should remain positive on the course, even immediately after miscues. New research on memory teaches us that we crystalize negative thoughts by having emotional outbursts.

What is the appropriate mental response to a missed putt, errant tee shot, or (Gof forbid), the Sh*%nk?

Dr. Mac Powell

So is it best to get momentarily mad after a bad shot (giving yourself a short burst of pain, not completely unlike an electric shock) and then moving on? Maybe even reconditioning by picturing a similar shot that you executed well and make a practice swing with that shot in your mind?

Whereas after a good shot a clenching of the fist, saying "yes" and maybe even replaying the shot in your head to further reinforce it would be an appropriate strategy?

I think your idea of rehearsing a more positive shot after a poor one is an excellent idea. Ideally, we have spent most of our energy prior to executing a shot and we can react with neutrality. However, it's not productive to repress emotions. If you try to hold an innertube under water you'll find that the harder you press, the harder it presses back. Release negativity so that you can focus on the positive outcomes ahead.

Dr. Mac Powell

This is interesting.

I tend to contain my emotions on the course to avoid making playing partners feel uncomfortable, but it destroys my game. So many times (when I make a mistake) I want to just shout, but instead I let it build up inside of me.

How can these emotions be released in a sufficient manner without offending playing partners?

I think this is an excellent question, and there are at least two ways to handle what's going on. First, you've got an opportunity because you've recognized a pattern: you get upset, you suppress it, and your mistakes compound themselves. You can change your upset, the suppression, or the compounding. Changing upsets are much harder to do, but infinitely more rewarding in the long run (and I recommend you start here). Spending some time with a sports psychologist on this issue would deliver a great deal of reward. Highly recommended!

For the general public, I'd start by only playing with people who don't mind you getting upset. It's unlikely that this pattern will change quickly (or even at all without help). Play with people who will accept your frustration. Or, play alone. Playing alone might give you the insight you need about your temper to make more substantial change down the road.

There is a famous quote that goes something like this: There's golf and there's tournament golf. I'd add that there's golf and golf with others. One is not like the other. Playing partners and competitors amplify our personality flaws and assets. Many players on the PGA tour know they're going to have a good week when they play with "so and so," because they put them at ease, pick them up when it's bad, and lets them play their game. The beauty of recreational golf is that we can always choose our foursome (if we haven't alienated everyone by throwing clubs Smile

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This is a much bigger issue than I can truly do justice to in this one post, but I hope the ideas spark some ideas, and that you will consider some more regular full-time help on the issue.

Sincerely,
Dr. Mac